Almost a year ago, I found myself in the darkest place I’d ever been. I was 60 pounds heavier, spiritually disconnected, and completely lost when it came to loving others—let alone myself. My life was a mess. No, not just a mess—a hot ghetto mess. I was standing at a crossroads, looking for happiness in all the wrong places, and spiraling deeper into despair. But then something clicked. And that click was the beginning of my journey to chase joy.
Let’s rewind to where it all started. This time last year, I had just survived another failed attempt to take my own life. I was losing everything, including myself, and in my desperation, I was grasping at straws, hoping something—anything—would fill the void. I got a job, thinking maybe stability would save me, but I hated it. Every day felt like torture. But there, in the middle of my dissatisfaction, a spark ignited—a passion to find joy.
I’ll be honest, I had no idea where to start. So, I ran back to the one place that had always brought me a semblance of peace—the gym. Yet, this
time, even the gym felt foreign. The solace I used to find there was muddied by a whirlwind of emotions I didn’t know how to process. I was searching for peace but was more confused than ever.
That’s when I stumbled upon a women’s circle called “Sol.” Joining this circle was like opening a window in a stuffy room. Suddenly, I could breathe again. I found myself surrounded by women who looked like me, who spoke like me, who understood the struggles I was going through. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel alone. Sol gave me a space to lay down my burdens, to speak my truth, and to listen to the truths of others.
Through this sisterhood, I began to untangle the mess within me. I started to understand that joy isn’t something you find outside yourself; it’s something you cultivate within. It’s in the small, daily decisions to choose hope over despair, faith over fear, love over self-loathing. It’s in the discipline of eating in a way that nourishes your body, praying in a way that reconnects you with your Creator, and loving in a way that reminds you of your worth.
My journey is far from over. Every day is a new challenge, a new opportunity to chase joy. But I’m not running aimlessly anymore. I’m moving with purpose, with intention, with the knowledge that joy isn’t something you stumble upon—it’s something you build, brick by brick, with the raw materials of faith, fellowship, and flowers.
As I stand on the other side of this transformative year, I’m reminded of something simple yet profound: Joy is a choice. It’s a choice I make every day when I step into the gym, when I sit in stillness to pray, when I look in the mirror and choose to love the woman staring back at me. And it’s a choice that has changed my life.
So here I am, inviting you to chase joy with me. To reclaim your life, to restore your hope, and to remember that no matter how lost you feel, there’s always a way back to yourself. There’s always a way back to joy. Let’s walk this path together, with open hearts and open hands, ready to receive the beauty that life has to offer.
Because joy, my dear, is worth the chase. And I promise you—it’s waiting for you to find it.
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