Cue Wakanda forever. Haha!! I am the daughter of Ronald Eugene Levy Sr. and Samella Johnson Levy Cohran. Born on a Thursday, July 11, 1985. A little country, a little city, a little holy, a little hood — all wrapped in flowers and faith.
I’ve survived 14,617 days on this Earth. That’s over two million minutes of living, loving, losing, laughing, falling flat, getting back up, running headfirst into lessons I swore I already knew, and still — somehow — becoming softer. Becoming wiser. Becoming more me.
So here’s what I know now, what I would tell you over coffee or wine or sitting barefoot on somebody’s porch swing. This is what 14,617 days will teach you — if you’re paying attention.
10 Things I’ve Learned (So Far)
Nobody gives a damn.
Not really. Not like you think. Everyone is busy spiraling about themselves. So while you’re worried about how you look, sound, move, succeed, fail — they’re worried about themselves. Set yourself free. Make your priorities louder than your insecurities.
It’s God’s plan. Period.
The longer you live, the more you realize you couldn’t have orchestrated any of this mess or magic on your own. Surrender early. It saves time and tears.
You need great music.
A bad playlist will ruin your whole day — and a good one can save it. Soundtracks matter. Find the songs that hold you together when you feel like falling apart. Let music remind you who you are, even when you forget.
Eat the damn ice cream.
Life is short. Get the two scoops.
Great sex is common.
A great partner is not. Lust will fool you. Love will build you. Choose wisely. Anyone can make you moan; few can make you feel safe, seen, and celebrated.
Work is not your worth.
Be excellent. Be ambitious. But know when to log off, when to walk away, and when to refuse to prove yourself any further.
You’re not for everybody.
Stop trying. Be kind. Be respectful. But don’t shrink or stretch yourself for acceptance. The right people recognize your magic without a demonstration.
Failure is inevitable.
It’s not if — it’s when. What matters is how you respond. Do you cry? Cuss? Course-correct? All of the above is fine. Just don’t quit on yourself.
Your peace is expensive.
Guard it accordingly. Set the boundary. Say no. Change your number. Leave the group chat. Protect what keeps you grounded.
Relax. Seriously.
Tight shoulders don’t solve problems. Breathe deep. Laugh hard. Take naps. Everything is figureoutable — except why we thought stressing was a personality trait.
Here’s what I know for sure: I am still learning. Still unfolding. Still giving myself the grace to grow and glow and rest and repeat.
If God is willing, I’ll collect another 14,617 days with a little more ease, a lot more joy, and plenty of ice cream.
But for now? I’m right here. Somewhere between Thursday’s child full of grace and somebody’s Auntie with good advice.
Thanks for sitting with me. I hope you feel a little lighter. A little freer. A little more you.
With flowers, faith, and a little bit of fire,
Ronisha Arlene